Behold Victor Meldrew!

Those who know me say I’m always moaning. It may be true. Maybe I have good reason to moan. Below I give some examples of why, to some people, I appear to be a Victor Meldrew. The examples all happened within a few weeks (May 2017).

  • Moving date came and went. I was initially supposed to move on the Friday, but it was delayed until the Monday because of the credit reports. Fortunately I had pre-empted this happening and had already booked the Monday off from work. I’m used to this now!
  • Moved all my things in. Many journeys. Installed the washing machine. This was the same one we had been using at the old house. It was used just two days beofre we moved it. Upon installation, it decided not to work. ERR02 came up on the display. Pump fault. I read on the internet what could cause this. Followed what it said. I couldn’t find anything wrong. Handwashed for two weeks. Did my final checks before buying another one, when I discovered the waste pipe had a bung in it, presumably from the new property that wasn’t discovered on installation or my first check.
  • I hung my fleece on my spare bicycle. I had a need to go in the pockets. I tried to remove it but it was caught on the pedal. I tried a couple of times but could not move it. It was dull in the living room and I couldn’t see properly. This annoyed me, so I went to the light switch and punched it on. Except the light switch shattered into pieces. I then went back to my fleece and saw that the zip had miraculously hooked itself onto a small part of the pedal, a task that took me some fiddling to undo. I noticed my hand was bleeding from the light switch. Which in turn, because it was just a graze type injury, means that every time I wash my hands it stings like a biatch!
  • So, it’s a nice day out today. Windows open to help cool the house. Except there is one neighbour that decides they want to let their children to play in the back garden (not a problem), but one of the children continues to screech a high pitched scream like they are being murdered. This continues for over an hour on and off, before I finally concede and close my rear bedroom window. I’m not against people enjoying themselves or children being children, but when it affects others, and the screaming is really unneccesary, then it’s too much.
  • The same day, the very same neighbours decide they want a barbecue. The smoke signals could be seen in the US of A. I’m just waiting for the smoke alarm to activate right now. I could close all my windows at the rear, but why the hell should I? I have as much right to enjoy the weather peacefully as anyone else. FFS! Not happening.

I mean, to be clear good stuff did happen. For example figuring out what was wrong with the washing machine before I had paid for another. That was a most joyous moment. Saved myself a small fortune! A new light switch bought and installed less than 48 hours later. Given a door mat by a work colleague. It all adds up. Good things do happen to me.

But the chances of some of these things happening must be, oh I don’t know, like millions to one. The children one was probably predictable given the weather. Unbeknown to me, the light switch was a strange brittle bakelite type material. I have punched light switches before and never smashed them. The zip thing, that really was a million-to-one. There are little L-shaped metal prongs on pedals, no more than 5mm in size. My fleece was the right length at the time for the zip to hook this (a slightly larger than 5mm hole in the zip pull part) and become lodged.

Have a nice holiday weekend and enjoy the weather. I’ll try to, if that’s okay with the neighbours.



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